“Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.” -Alexis Carrell
I ran into a former acting professor of mine the other day and had a lovely chat about life and changes. A little background, this was the acting professor of mine during the one semester I failed every class…except his. Which I achieved an A. Funny right? After he had heard of my personal journey (albeit in abbreviated form) he commented that I felt changed. “More worldly” as he put it. I took a minute and thought of this.
I have changed, quite a lot. When I look back at the person I was in high school, even 3 years ago, it’s like I’m a completely different person. This is not without trial and tribulation, in fact I had to leave University for a couple of years for pete’s sake, but I am completely and utterly happy with the result. I enjoy being who I am and don’t feel guilty for certain slights and sins. I think leaving the church did a lot to help with that, as well as coming out of the closet. Not denying who I am or feeling guilty about it is a feeling that is so utterly freeing that I feel like I’m flying everyday.
Everything has been coming together splendidly and I’ve been able to handle the curve balls life throws at me. In rehearsals, I am learning a more professional attitude to take. At work, I learn…well…how to make coffee, but also how to chat with people that I’ve never met before. In class, I’m learning about the history of the craft that I pursue. This new self I have crafted and am crafting, is a beautiful creation and one that I hope to take to New York and show the world. It’s a bumpy road but one that I am forging myself, not following anyone else’s path.
That’s the thing about an artistic career, everyone gets there different ways and there is no ‘set’ way to get into the arts. No two actors traveled the same path, nor two directors, nor two poets, etc. It’s both exciting and terrifying, but the possibilities are endless.
Here’s to trailblazing!